It finally worked...

I am now officially able to share my thoughts (no rolling your eyes)!

If anyone has time tomorrow afternoon I was going to try and rearrange the jumps for Saturday's lessons.
I was also thinking about going buy some new flowers to spruce things up. After watching enough youtube to go blind I decided we need more red flowers. Every Saugerties course I watched had red flowers.

Deb - I have lots of 1/2 dead plants (mostly ferns) that we can bring to HITs for the tack room if you could get them back to life. It would save me from having to face my dad who bought them for me. Whoever said talking to plants worked LIED. I say at least once a day "f**ing plants you are driving me crazy" and no reponse...

Getting ready for HITs (34 days to go)

I'm making a list of things to do to prepare for Saugerties. Please feel free to make suggestions/additons:
1 - Start sneaking money out of the checking account in small incriments so husband doesn't figure out how much it really costs. I went with "about $800"
2 - Get lots of drugs from Paula to knock out Fawny so that we (Amy) can clip his ears.
Get valium and scotch for Michele so she doesn't chicken out.
3 - Get Fawny use to having his mane braided so he doesn't roll in front of the white breaches bit--es and make it obvious we don't really belong there.
4 - Do the next Woodedge 2'6" class without schooling the course.
If we can't get around at Woodedge, fake serious illness.
5 - Jump 3'-3'3" every lesson until the show so the jumps don't intimidate (scare the cr*p) out of us.
6 - Have Kristen and/or Amy jump Fawny so that if the valium don't work they can do the first class.
7 - Ask (hope) Nancy if she has current coggins test or call Paula's office.Probably with the winning Giant ticket.
8 - Get Doctor to prescribe valiuum.
Did I say that already?

My first Trip in a field of 8

Dear Monty,

I would like an understanding about your thoughts and actions on Saturday around 3pm in the beautiful (although quite dusty)afternoon at East Freehold Park. It is not to say I did not have the time of my life controling my wild and playful mount, but I would just like a deeper understanding of your thoughts that day. And for the record- if you have to pee and we put you on the trailer with shavings.. just pee! No one will think you less of a man- maybe the key would be taking you into the woods where you would have some extra privacy- isnt that what happens at concerts, football games, etc? Back to the point at hand...1ST trip-
Trot in the ring all is good fine and dandy, we pick up our canter and then I dont remember asking you to speed into a gallop for five strides (1st trip monty, not jump off phase) we collect ourselves and proceed to the first jump a lovely single on the quarterline (laughing). As we approach we notice (head in the air, ears straight forward )unruly children racing around the bleachers. Parents ? honestly? We collect again but your head in the air remained and I knew this was going to be an interesting course. First jump lovely- landing ...not sure I remember exactly what happened but it went through my head I should probably slow down and lean back! Then to the nice 5 stride diagnol line heading back to the unruly children. I apologize for the last minute spur to ensure our take off at five strides and probably deserved what happened next. As you flew into the air (thank you for deciding to take off ) and eventually landed I knew your actions before you did. It was a crowd pleaser as you threw your head down and played (again thank you for deciding not to buck or I would have surely flown into air and landed on one of those unruly children!) Next was a single oxer which at this time all I was thinking was "what is your deal" . Its ok I undersatand you were probably mad at me for not riding you all week- but I did come and visit and fed you delicious horse treats! Anyway after the oxer it seemed we sprinted to the other side of the ring showing off your exceptional thoroughbred speed for the judge- Im pretty sure this counted against us Monty! The next diagnol line was an improvement but the unruly children yet again set your feet to fleeing..Jumping into the line was short and I had to (sorry) rush you to get out. I apologize for my blatant error for asking you to go more forward and adding fuel to the fire. I finally got you trotting which I must say was a brilliant trot and gave you your loose rein you like- checked my grandfather to make sure he had not had a heart-attack then left the ring with a huge smile and exclaimed to Nancy what the hell was that about?!

Monty I love you anyway and you did improve the more we did and of course I will not hold this against you. But please lets try to be better behaived in the Hunter divisions- Lets leave the running and playing and LEAPING in the schooling ring or in the field in the privacy of your own home-
Thank you, and see you on Tuesday!
Your Kristen

The Real HorseWives of Best Chance Farm??

BCF Adult Amateur Standings

[I am posting this for Michele and Fawny until she can create a username.]

Severance Pay (aka Fawny) should technically have 56 points (not including last weekends Woodedge show) in the Adult Amateur YOUNGER division. The reason Fawny does not not have these points is because Fawny's mom was not smart enough to know nothing with horses is free and that she needed to pay the $75 to register him (free USEF # useless) so that the points would count (hence all the points are bad).

PS - I would like to stress these bad points are in the YOUNGER division so referring to me as middle-aged is highly inappropriate unless you olders want to be referred to as SENIORS!

Thank you, Fawny and Michele (Fawny's not so smart YOUNGER rider/owner).

18th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monty and I are 18th in our ZONE!!!!!!! (not counting the Woodedge Show!) Yay- We have to keep this up then you all better book your hotel rooms in Harrisburg, PA!

Wanted: Cure for "swamp ass"

Some of us have a noticable problem that goes hand-in-hand with being a rider. The technical term is "Swamp Ass". While I know from casual observation that I am not the only one with this problem. My purpose here is to request advice for this issue. Perhaps nurse Elaine has a suggestion.

I am 48 years old. I sweat. I have not even started having those "power surges" yet, just wait until then! I'll be wet from head to toe! You baby girls in your twenties dont sweat, you glisten. But your day will come! Maybe you will glean something from this posting that you can reserve for the future.

Let's explore what options are out there.

WHAT TO DO?

I searched the internet and was able to come up with the following solutions from other blogs:


1. Do they make giant maxi pads specially designed for your this?

If you start getting swamp ass just throw on a pad or change yours.

2. Maybe "Depends"?

Not sure. They are expensive. Dont we spend enough on this hobby? And lets talk about how that would look. Talk about a big ass!! Are you getting the mental image of those horse show photos?

3. Gold Bond, green bottle.

I foresee a white-coated saddle.

4. Tenactin Jock itch spray antipersperant.

Really? We are women. I have not tried this, but I think there could be some uncomfortable tingling.

5. It's all about breathing room.

Neither britches, jodphers, nor riding jeans provide this. No help.

6. It's your core temp. try drinking lots of ice cold water immediately after working out to lower your core temp.

So now we need a Coleman cooler out in the ring.

7. I understand bag balm works well too. I know some cyclists who use it.

WHAT?

8. "Ever since my basic training, I've used the 'ol gold-bond-on-the-sack treatment. It's a must, dude. Keeps it cool down there, prevents chafing, that sort of thing. It's like freon for your...well. Anyway yeah that green bottle is something else. I've used the green when I was stationed in the south (SC), and it keeps ya cool and dry allllll day. In fact, it kinda tingles/burns all day, but if it's hot enough it's fine. Otherwise, I stick to the yellow bottle, it works for me."

Wow, a lot of imformation there. I kinda skeeved just reading that.

9. "Ms.' blow dryer down yonder...works wonders, towels don't get so funky, takes no time at all, no Gold Bond clean up."

Cheers to that image. (I knew Gold Bond would be messy! That was a close-one.)

************************

I take no comfort in learning that most of the sufferers of this affliction are apparently men. Here's my solution:
Let's install a bidet.
That or just donate my clothes to the goodwill, who will most-likely burn them.

WELCOME

Welcome to the BCF "C" Rated Blog,
write what you want ..
when you want to ..
and join in the fun of keeping our work inboxes at a normal size!

I am going to take the liberty of posting our first entry by no other than the hilarious Cherry Brown (aka Pete's Mom)….

I DID THE 3FT YESTERDAY!!!

Hi everyoneI don't want to make too big a deal about this, but...I DID THE 3 FOOT YESTERDAY!!! Nancy agreed to let me just school with the 3 ft since I was the only low adult entered yesterday so it was canceled. (What happened to the days with Best Chance alone could fill the low-adults division??) I watched when they were setting up the course. My eyes got wider and wider. I was standing next to Ellen, and I asked her, 'Those jumps look big, don't those jumps look big? I think those jumps look big.' Ellen smiled and gave me a polite, sympathetic shrug. Oh boy. Ok, no big deal. Pete will jump them, I just have to hang on for dear life. Not hard, right? Went into schooling. Warming up. The horse who needs 2 inch spurs to trot is moving briskly today. Ok. No problem. Then Nancy says, 'just jump this outside line.' Wait a sec... no warm up cross rail?? No poles on the ground? A small gate perhaps? No? We are just going to start right off with a 3 ft line, is that right? Am I understanding this right? Ok, no problem. Do the sign of the cross, pet Pete's neck, look up, heels down, grab mane. I do it, stop at the end of the ring, and exhale. SHIT! That was so scary!! But I did it. I'm done. Good night, everyone. All I have to do now is explain to Nancy that I have had enough, there is no moisture left in my mouth, it has all gone to my pits and my crotch. She will be happy that I tried, right? Wait, no, that is not what will happen. She will talk me into doing another line. Let's face it, I have to do another line before I will be allowed to get out of here. This God-forsaken ring with those damn traffic cones covering the holes in the ground to avoid that I cant stop staring at and aiming for. Damn Wits End. It's not enough that my nose is full of dirt/sand? Nancy: 'Ok Cherry, see if you can let go a little. He's not going anywhere. Now do the diagonal line to the outside line.' Crap - that's 4 jumps. Ok. Look up, heels down. Wow, that was a LOT of air between me and the saddle. I don't think is supposed to feel that way. I am in over my head. Look over at the BCF group by the rail. Debbie is holding her heart, and she not watching Kristen. That does it. I better get out of here. For Debbie's sake. A dog barks. Sounds like my dog. Maybe she needs me. 'I'm coming Sweetpea. Nancy, I would love to stay, it's been fun, but my dog just called and... what's that? You want me to do it again?? Are you sure? I mean, DID YOU SEE THE LAST ONE?' Ok, no problem.It got a better... a little. Very little. But I persevered. I stayed in there. Then, the moment of truth. Nancy: 'Do you want to show?' It's uncanny the faith this woman can have. I mean, she saw me school right? She saw EMT actually get out of his car and hang on the fence staring only at me, with his defibrillator charged and at the ready, right? Didn't everyone see all that? Or was I delirious?OK, tell ya what, because you actually believe in me, I'll do one class. Just one. It has to be easier than schooling with all those other people in there (yes, the ones who knew exactly what they were doing.) Ok, no problem.One class. Whew. Glad no photographer this time gang. It was not pretty. But, I got around, and never broke, fell off, circled or cried. Nancy even cheered. (Not quite a whoop, but come on! You have to earn those.)Somehow, I did all the classes. And didn't fall off. It was a hot-mess, but I did it! And you know what, I am looking forward to doing it again! It will improve. And if not, maybe we can distract Debbie when I go from now on to save her poor heart! Thanks to everyone who stayed so long to watch and support. Today I really feel like I killed a bear. ARRRGHHH! Lv,Cherry

My Riding Resume by Debbie V

I started my riding career when Kristen was 6 years old. I had a good friend, some of you know, Chris Hibbits & her daughter Annie, who rode with Nancy. Chris convinced Nancy to run a kids birthday party- I think it was the first and last (but maybe not). Kristen loved the horses and Chris told me I had to get her on one. She was a hyper kid who was athletic but never stuck to anything so I figured what harm could it be??? I found a local barn on Easy Street, that was just starting up. The lessons were very reasonable, something like $12.00. The ponies were not! Surprisingly, our own Amy was at the barn at the time and the owner convinced her to give Kris lessons. Amy made me get rid of the white K-Mart cowboy boots (I bought her when her first instructor told me to get her some boots)and buy some real paddock boots. Well as bargains go... these lessons were too good to be true and Amy soon gave up the teaching due to employment issues. We didn't see Amy again until Kris graduated from college last May. After Amy, we came to Nancy. Kris was in 2nd grade. Nancy had several assistant trainers who worked with the kids so Nancy was not her instructor (She didn't do the beginners). This is where Kris and Rachel became friends ... some 18 years ago. I, as you can imagine was a riding momzilla. Not having an understanding of anything, lessons, expenses, progress, ribbons, etc- I was very unrealistic. Let me say it again VERY UNREALISTIC! I wanted my kid on the best pony, for the least amount of money, winning each time out while taking 1/2 hour group lesson once a week. And why couldn't she have free riding time to SCHOOL the pony?? She was a good rider, right??? It took me many years to comprehend what this whole riding thing was all about. Once Kris got her pony(Timmy Pony)- my education started to build. I could brush the horse, pick feet, clean stalls, bathe(no easy feat because he was a gray) and painted jumps, quite intricately,if I don't say so myself. I watched every lesson. We then bought a green horse, George, who continued my education. At this point Kris was riding with Helen since Nancy had gone back to school full time and given up the horse business. Learned a whole DIFFERENT perspective from Helen. Helen didn't care for George for Kris and we decided to sell him (after speaking to him through the horse psychic). Cindy Taylor was leasing Best Chance and running a horse sale business, Innview Farm. We brought George back to be sold. Kris enjoyed the easy, carefree style of Cindy and decided to keep George and stay at Innview which was at Best Chance. Cindy only had 1 adult rider, Carol; 1 teen, Kristen and 1 child, Lauren. They all rode all sorts of sale horses. Talk about an education... This is where I learned more about horse care, barn care, selling horses, preparing horses for sale, showing horses to perspective buyers, ordering feed, prices, layovers, body clipping, the Pony Hunter circuit, (you had to see Kris the first time she jogged a horse-never saw it before) even rehabilitating a starving rescued horse (along with Carol). Kris finished at Best Chance with Kim who gave her a project, Honour- She trained this baby almost exclusively on her own from race track stallion to 3 ft. in a year. That's where she developed her love of the babies and her patience. Honour was sold. Kris went off to college, stopped riding regularly for four years except for stopping in to the barn on holidays and summer. My riding days appeared to be over and I did miss them. Kris then started grooming for Nancy and you all know the rest. You might ask yourself why this is MY story? You need to appreciate that I did it all, except actually ride. And one day this fall, Nancy said it was my turn to get on something and I took her up on the offer. Did I mention that I "watched every lesson?"- I knew exactly what I was supposed to do and how it should look, just couldn't do it. Now just waiting for my next lesson- I've been told I'm a natural- Kris had to get it from somewhere, right??? I'm 56 years old and for the record- Elaine is MY HERO!